Welcome to the campaign.

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Ready the crap I wrote below (even though you won’t remember any of it once the session starts)

You are one of the Solar Exalted. Chosen of the Gods. You are powerful, you fuck shit up, and everyone wants you dead. There are roughly 100 of you in the entire world. When one of you dies, a new soul is chosen by the Sun to carry the power.

Your first and most well known enemy is Death, Creator of the Underworld. He goes by many names and there’s several of him. Oh, and he’s got 13 dread henchmen who can travel through space and time to kill anything they want. Also, Hell has a personal grudge against you.

Magical Rome/Persia/China regularly trains and sends ninja-monks out for you. Ninjas specially trained in asskicking. And if that doesn’t work, they keep giant color-coded gundams and suits of power armor as backups.

A council of Jedi-like shitlords has corrupted Heaven and usurped your rightful place as the Masters of Everything – but that happened a long time ago and no one seems to remember why they started hating you in the first place. The only reason they haven’t hunted you down is that they’re too busy fighting over throne trying to keep reality from getting fucked in all of its holes.

Creation is ruled by the Scarlet Empress. The second of her name. And she is a righteous cunt. She’s kind of like a two-thousand-year-old shape-changing ex-wife that drops by every now and then to smash and breed a new race of evil bastard children capable of rewriting the biosphere.

You are chosen by the Unconquered Sun, but your god has an epic crack addiction and can’t seem to get his shit together. The Gods love playing games of divinity, experimenting with Creation for shits and giggles. It’s pretty fucked up really. Despite the odds, you seem to think you can fix everything.

Welcome to Creation, kid. It’s gonna get weird. Try not to be a total fucktard.

Have Fun.

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Campaign V - The Game of Divinity - 2016

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